A Fair and Fowl Adventure - REDONE
by Lukas Turner
Summary: Artemis is about to tell Holly his feelings for her, but then something happens that changes both their lives forever. Rating might go up, depending on what ideas I get.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! As Andrew Smithers said, he has given me all his fanfics except Finding Again, which he has chosen to keep. And as he also said, I am relatively new to writing fanfiction. That isn't to say I'm new at writing in general. As I have said in AAFLS (That's An Artemis Fowl Love Story, for those of you who don't know), I have written several fanfics and books prior to this, that I might get out soon.

He has _also_ given me permission to do whatever I want with this story, so *claps hands* get ready for fluff, smut, and GORE!

Sorry, was that too much?

But, as a very popular YouTuber says,

I digress.

So, with AFFA specifically, I have changed the plot _just a little_. That's about it. I'm gonna be more descriptive too.


	2. Chapter 2

**(So, this is the revamp of AFFA. Same name, somewhat same plot.**

**Enjoy!)**

Artemis had a problem.

He had regained his memories following his resurrection when Holly had told him his entire life story, ending with when he dropped at the Berserker Gate. Then she had kissed him, once. His lips, amazingly enough, still tingled with the memory of that kiss. Which wasn't really that odd, because it had happened mere moments earlier. Now he sat, stunned, as missing memories filled his head.

But that wasn't necessarily Artemis' problem. He was very fond of his memories, and couldn't really see how any of them could be a 'problem'.

No, Artemis' problem was that Holly was now flying back to Haven after an urgent call from her Commander, and hadn't had a chance to talk to post-recall Artemis. Which sucked, because post-recall Artemis had some things he wanted to say to Holly.

_I can always call her on my communicator,_ he realized, as the corresponding memories clicked into place.

_I think I'll do that._

So he dialed Holly on his Fairy communicator, cleverly disguised as a cell phone, and waited.

_"Hello?" _Holly's voice said through the tiny gel speaker.

"Good afternoon, Holly," replied Artemis with a self-satisfied smile.

_"Artemis?" _Holly sounded incredulous. _"How did you-?" _She did not need to finish the question.

"After you kissed me, I got my memories back," Artemis explained, quite simply.

Several seconds of silence followed while Holly digested this information.

"That being said," Artemis continued, "I have some things I want to say to you."

_"What's that?"_

"Holly, I -" Artemis stopped. He had felt a sharp pain in his throat. He looked down and saw a tranquilizer dart sticking out of his neck.

"I've been shot."

_"What? What are you talking about, 'I've been shot'?"_

_"Artemis? Artemis, speak to me!"_

Artemis could not reply, because he now laid unconscious on his bed. A small figure stepped out of the shadows.

"That was too close," it said. "_Way _too close."

#####

Holly landed on the lush Irish grass and put her head in her hands.

_What did Artemis mean? 'I've been shot'. Shot by what?_

_I need to find him._

_Now._

So Holly shot into the air, back the way she came.

Within ten minutes, Holly cut the power to her wings and glided into Artemis' bedroom window. She immediately noticed that Artemis was not there, so she wrenched open Artemis' door and rushed down to the kitchen, where she knew Butler would be.

"Butler!" Holly shouted as she ran full tilt into the kitchen. "Artemis is gone!"

Butler dropped his gun barrel, which he had been cleaning. "Gone?" He sounded anxious. "Where?"

"I don't know. He called me earlier, and he got shot in the middle of the call." Holly paused. "I don't think he was shot by a gun, or he wouldn't have said anything. And I didn't hear anything."

"So he was tranquilized," Butler groaned. "He could be anywhere."

#####

Artemis woke to a bright light shining in his eyes. He was in a familiar, yet unfamiliar room. He couldn't be sure, with some of his memories still AWOL. An elf he did not recognize was sitting in a chair nearby, typing on a laptop of some sort. Artemis groaned.

"Where am I?"

The elf gave a small start. He had a wiry sort of build, one that you would not expect a kidnapper to have.

"You're underground," he said. His voice was what you would expect from looking at him: high and nasally.

Artemis sighed. "I figured that. Where underground?"

The elf cast a nervous look around. "I can't tell you that."

Suddenly, a door opened on the far side of the room. Another elf stepped out. This time, it was someone that Artemis knew very well.

"But I can," said Commander Trouble Kelp.

#####

Holly paced her apartment, agitated. She had spent the whole day trying to find Artemis, but had had no luck.

_These kidnappers are professionals,_ Butler had remarked while scanning for DNA in Artemis' room. _That, or they have LEP tech, or both._

LEP tech.

LEP.

Holly stopped pacing. Was it possible that Artemis had been taken by the LEP? She wouldn't put it past them, judging from their past experiences with Artemis.

She dialled Butler on his own communicator.

_"What is it, Holly?"_ Butler asked. _"Did you find him?"_

"Maybe. Butler, could he have been kidnapped by the LEP?"

A pause. _"It's possible. Why don't you look through the database? Or have Foaly look?"_

"Good idea. Thanks, Butler."

_"No problem."_

Holly practically flew to Police plaza. She would have literally flown, had flying not been illegal during after-hours. As she expected, Foaly was sitting in the Ops booth. He looked up from his computers when he noticed her approaching.

"I already know what you're going to ask," he said. "You need help finding Artemis."

Holly was not surprised. She knew that Foaly discretely monitored all LEP calls.

"Yes." Holly looked at the screens. One of them was currently running a search through the many filesystems of the LEP. The name 'Artemis' appeared in many of them, but none so far were dated in the past week. "Any idea?"

Foaly momentarily stopped his typing. "No, at the moment, I have no idea." His face formed a grin. "Is this about what he was going to say when he called you earlier?"

Holly glared at the centaur. "No," she said. "This is about Artemis."

Foaly opened his mouth to retort, then stopped. The computer had just pinged, signifying a hit.

"I found him," he declared triumphantly. "He's... Oh Frond, he's in Police Plaza."

#####

"Commander?" Artemis asked, incredulous. "What is this? Why am I here, and not in my room?"

Commander Kelp sat in the chair that the other elf had been in; he had left the room when Trouble entered.

"I'm afraid that the Council has found out about the clone," he said. "So they - I say _they_, but I mean _Adair_, chose to bring you to Police Plaza in an... unneeded way."

"You mean kidnap." Artemis said shortly. "Adair kidnapped me." He paused. "And I don't think this is just about my cloned body. I'm sure there's something more, or else he would have just sent you or one of your lackeys to 'bring me' to Police Plaza."

Trouble looked thoughtful. "Well, it's no secret that Adair has a 'thing' for Holly... I'm pretty sure most of us have, at one point. Myself included."

"Well," Artemis replied, his voice level. "It seems that he has competition."

"Who?"

"Me."

Trouble rolled his eyes. "Of course," he groaned. "You fall in love with the person that saves your life."

Artemis looked Trouble in the eyes, dead serious. "It's not just that," he said. "What I'm going to tell you, nobody else can know. Got it?"

Trouble nodded, so Artemis continued.

"During the three years that me and Holly were gone, the Demon Abbot, you remember him?"

"Yeah, I remember. He was the phsychopath, wasn't he?"

"That was him. While we were on Hybras, Abbot stabbed Holly, and killed her."

Trouble's eyes widened.

"I was there," Artemis continued, tears welling up in his eyes. "I heard the sound it made... God, I'll never forget it.

"I brought her back to life, Trouble. It almost cost me everything, but I did it. And I want to save her life again."

Trouble looked confused. "What do you mean, you want to save her life?"

"Not literally," Artemis elaborated. "I want to _be with_ her for life. I was about to tell Holly I loved her when I was shot. I expect she's trying to find me now."

Trouble shook his head. "If she is, she probably won't find you. Adair took you to the most secure cell in Police Plaza, and I don't think you're even on the records for this."

Artemis looked crestfallen. he put his hands in his pockets, thinking. His hand brushed against something: His communicator, which Adair had forgotten to confiscate.

"I have something to ask you: Would I be able to make a call, if I'm not even technically supposed to be here?"

Trouble immediately began to search for a phone, turning around in his chair.

"I suppose so..." he muttered. "I don't know how the Council would take it..."

"I don't care what the Council says," said Artemis. He already had the communicator dialing Holly. After a moment, she picked up.

_"Artemis?"_

**(Well, that happened. This chapter was a little fast-paced, but future chapters will be a little slower.**

**5 reviews = next chapter!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**(Thank you for 5 reviews! You guys are awesome!**

**Happy memorial day to my American readers!**

**Some alternate universe where Commander Vinyáya lives.)**

"Artemis?" Holly said tentatively, in case it wasn't him.

_"It's me, Holly." _Artemis' voice came through the communicator as though he were standing right there. _"Have you succeeded in finding me?"_

"Uh, Foaly just got a hit in Police Plaza, something about..." Holly squinted at the screen. "A confidential cell? What's a 'Confidential' cell?"

Foaly coughed once. "That is for very personal hearings, or very dangerous criminals, or both. It's about as isolated as you can get in a cell. The door matches the wall perfectly, and the vents are built into the walls."

Holly looked puzzled. "Aren't all vents built-in?"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

_"So none of you have any idea where I am?"_

"Sorry, Mud Boy," Foaly called. "Not even I can track you in one of those. The outside is made completely from stealth ore, and completely silent too. The only way to detect that thing is if you slammed your face in it."

_"Or if someone already knew where it was, and could tell you where it is..."_

"Who would know where it is, Artemis?" Holly asked, becoming slightly annoyed at Artemis' vagueness.

_"Commander Kelp. He's sitting in front of me right now."_

#####

Ten minutes later, Holly had completely kitted herself out with state-of-the-art stealth-ore-finding technology.

Two rods and a bunch of rocks.

Trouble had told her the vague location, but even he didn't know exactly where it was. Holly wandered through Police Plaza, tapping her rods in random places. Fortunately, it was after-hours, so nobody gave her any weird looks. Imagine the female role model of the LEP tapping sticks like a blind gnome.

After half an hour of searching, tapping, and rock throwing, one of Holly's rocks bounced off of thin air.

_Gotcha_. She grinned. She ran over to where the rock had bounced and put her hands out. Eventually, they collided with nothing.

"See, Foaly?" she said to herself. "I found it, and I didn't slam my face into it."

Holly found the doorknob and yanked the door open. Or rather, she would have, had it not been locked.

_Damn cells,_ she groaned internally. _Always locked._

But that could be fixed, with an omnitool and a little patience.

Three seconds later, the door hissed open, and Artemis and Commander Kelp were revealed, sitting in silence. That abruptly changed when they noticed the door open. Commander Kelp shouted in surprise several words that cannot be printed.

"Holly!" Artemis exclaimed, genuinely surprised that she had been able to find them. "I didn't expect for you to find me so quickly. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Artemis," said Holly, slightly annoyed that Artemis was in a cell in the first place.

When Holly looked at Artemis some more, the events of just a few hours ago came back to her, and she realized...

"Artemis, when you called me earlier," she said, "You said something, before you said that you got shot... What were you going to say?"

Artemis smiled. "What I was going to say, Holly, is that I..." he paused, and Holly's heart rate sped up significantly.

_Please,_ she thought. _Please, please say it._

"I love you."

_YES!_

Holly stepped over to Artemis and put her hand on his cheek. Likewise, Artemis' heartbeat sped up as well.

_Please... please?_

"I love you too, Arty." she said softly, then placed her lips on his.

Artemis wasted no time in reciprocating, except maybe a second to feel truimphant.

Suddenly, there came the sound of clearing throats behind them.

Multiple _throats._

It was as though something had exploded between their lips, so quickly had Holly and Artemis parted. Adair and Trouble were standing at the door to the cell, and Adair looked very happy indeed. Trouble did not.

"The Council has reached a decision," he declared. "Artemis Fowl, due to several dangerous contacts with the People, the latest causing several of our own deaths, he will be forcibly removed from all presence and knowledge of the People."

Trouble, in an act of uncharacteristic selflessness, chose to, for once in his life, defend the Mud Boy.

"You can't be serious," he said. "Artemis Fowl is the only reason there were as _little_ deaths as there were. If he weren't there, fatalities would be four-digit, instead of a mere eighty-nine."

"The point still remains," Adair was almost shouting now, "That Artemis Fowl was involved where he had no place to be. And therefore must be punished."

Artemis still sat in his chair, aghast. He had already figured out what Adair meant by 'forcibly removed from all presence and knowledge of the People'.

He was going to be mind-wiped and relocated. Away from his family, all his Fairy friends,

and Holly, who he had literally moments before professed his feelings for. And who loved him back.

And already, he was devising a plan.

"This is unacceptable," Artemis said, before he even knew he was saying it. "You have no power over me." He stood and stepped out of the cell, so he could actually stand.

"I have a family and friends, Adair. You just saw proof of that. How do you expect me to just walk away from this?"

Adair sneered at the Human. "It wasn't just my decision. Almost the entire Council went for it, with the exception of Cahartez and Vinyáya."

"Well, then, Cahartez and Vinyáya are the only ones on the Council with any semblance of sense." Artemis stated, unrepentant.

A vein pulsed in Adair's neck. His face was turning red.

"Captain," Adair said, trying very hard to compose himself. "Handcuff the Mud Man."

Holly looked ready to handcuff the Councilman, but did as she was commanded.

"I'm sorry, Artemis," she breathed as she fastened the electronic cuffs. "But orders are orders."

"I understand, Holly. Although, if I had to be handcuffed by anybody, I'd choose you any day," he replied with a small laugh.

Adair interrupted them by loudly proclaiming, "Take him to the courtroom. The Council is waiting."

**(Well... If you've read the original version by Andrew, you know what happens.**

**5 reviews = next chapter!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**(Sorry, I'm a little late... again...**

**This chapter is kinda sad, so prepare yourself for that.)**

Artemis sat stiffly in Haven's largest courtroom, which was one of the only courtrooms Artemis could fit comfortably in. The Council was deciding his fate.

"Artemis Fowl," Chairman Cahartez finally said. "After careful consideration, the majority rules that you are to be removed from _all_ presences and memories of the People, including those of Captain Short."

Artemis seemed not to react, other than a tightening around the corners of his lips in obvious anger. Holly looked at him nervously. What was he planning?

"That being said," Cahartez continued. "The minority does have a say in what happens, therefore we - 'we' being me and Commander Vinyáya -, after hearing about you and Captain Short's relationship, decided to let you remember her face, and her name.

"However, for security reasons, Foaly will have to alter the memory so that she appears Human. Commander Kelp will be overseeing that personally."

Artemis looked crestfallen. Holly didn't blame him. Why remember the love of your life if you can't remember them as they were?

Holly noticed that Adiar looked very proud of himself. With a start, she realized that she had seen him a lot more often in the past six months, while Artemis had been gone. He was a new councilman, elected just last year when another councilman retired. It was not unlikely that he had fallen for her.

Holly swore then and there that whatever happened, she would get Artemis back. She would not tolerate being with Adair, no matter how he acted.

"The verdict goes into effect immediately." Cahartez was saying. "Artemis, you have one hour to say your goodbyes, then report to Commander Kelp immediately afterward."

Artemis and Holly stood at the same time. As they left the courtroom, Vinyáya stopped them.

"I'm sorry about this, Artemis." Vinyáya said. "Truth be told, Adair gave us no choice. He originally voted to have you executed for your 'crimes'."

Artemis was filled with a white-hot fury at Vinyáya's words. He had come to much the same conclusion as Holly, that Adair simply wanted her, and had to get Artemis out of the way. He also suspected that Adair was the one who had shot him in the first place.

"Well, I'm glad he didn't." Artemis said, his voice dangerously low. "Know this, Commander. I cannot live remembering Holly and not being able to do anything about it. I will be back. There is nothing anybody can do about it. Not even death kept me away for long."

"I'm not saying I approve of what you say," Vinyáya replied. "All I'm saying is that I see where you're coming from."

But as she turned to leave, Artemis caught an unmistakeable wink.

00000

Artemis paced slowly in the Police Plaza courtyard, thinking, perfecting his plan. Several officers had told him off for being there, but Artemis hadn't done anything. Mostly because Commander Kelp had intervened, saying, "He only has an hour before he forgets all about us. Let him do what he wants."

Nobody bothered Artemis after that.

Holly came and sat on a bench near where Artemis' feet were slowly carving their way into the paving stones. She watched as he walked back and forth, back and forth. Finally, he noticed her.

"Hello, Holly." he said. He sat as much as he could on the bench next to her. "What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking about how much _I _want to know what _you're_ thinking, Arty."

Artemis shuddered. "Please don't call me that."

"Why, do you not like it?"

"No, it's not that. I like it very much, coming from you." Artemis shook his head sadly. "It reminds me that I'm going to lose you in less than forty-five minutes. Maybe forever if I don't come up with a plan in time."

"It only takes twenty minutes for a shuttle to get to the surface." Holly said, before she realized she had said it.

Artemis cocked his head. "Why do you say that? You make it sound like you want us to run away together."

Holly sighed. "Because I _do_, Artemis. I _do_ want to be with you, no matter what the cost."

Artemis wished Holly would stop talking. What she was saying was driving him crazy, making him think about where else he wanted her to say those words, _I do._

Holly picked up on Artemis' frustration, and decided that she should help Artemis instead.

"I'm sorry, Artemis. I've wanted this for a long time, and - I don't want - to lose you - _again._" Holly was crying now, hit with the full possibility of losing Artemis to something worse than death, which had already taken Artemis once.

Artemis put his arms around Holly's shoulders, pulling her close. Something clicked in his brain.

"You won't lose me for long," he whispered in her ear. "Two weeks, at the most. Give me two weeks, Holly, then I'll be back."

"What makes you - so sure?" Holly sobbed into his shoulder.

"I've made a plan. I need to talk to Foaly."

00000

Artemis and Holly stayed for awhile, comforting each other before Artemis finally did _have_ to leave, or he would run out of time. Instead of going to Foaly like he said he would, he went to a secluded place in Police Plaza, being careful to stay as much as possible away from cameras. Once satisfied with his location, he took out his phone and recorded a video.

"Hello, Artemis. By the time you see this, you've been taken away from what you love most. That's not money, or power, or anything else for that matter..."

00

Artemis sat with his head in his hands ouside Foaly's office, waiting, waiting... Finally, the door opened and Holly poked her head out.

"It's time, Art-...emis."

Artemis stepped into the office to see an elaborate machine dominating the relatively small space. He instantly recognized it as the same machine Foaly had used the first time he had mind-wiped Artemis. Commander Kelp stood silently in the corner.

"All right, Artemis." Foaly said as Artemis sat in the chair. "As the Council told you, I'm going to leave a single memory of Holly, doctored to look Human. Everything else to do with us is getting wiped."

"I understand," said Artemis.

Foaly turned on the machine without another word. The electrodes came to life, finding and attaching themselves to Artemis' cranium. Artemis looked at Holly.

"I love you," he said. "I'll remember you." He pulled Holly into a hug.

"And I _will_ come back." he whispered, so that only she could hear. "Wait for me."

Artemis continued to hold her as the sedatives took hold. His head lolled over Holly's shoulder, quivering slightly from her audible sobs.

**(So sad... Alexa, play Despacito.**

**That's dead, isn't it?**

**5 reviews gets you another chapter!)**


	5. HIATUS

Hey everybody!

I regret to announce that all Artemis Fowl-related fanfictions will be placed on hiatus until I can get over this STUPID. FUCKING. WRITER'S BLOCK!

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

Once I have a few more chapters, I will remove this chapter and update.

Until then, peace!


End file.
